Sunday, June 03, 2007

What man proposes, God disposes

"When a man wants something very badly the whole universe conspires to help him achieve it!" Words of 'infinite wisdom' straight from the horse's mouth. Paulo Coelho must have never been to Bombay. Or even if he might have been, he might have never risked going to one of the cinema theatres. Even if he might have risked, it must not have been a Sunday. I have always disliked Paulo Coelho and his 'wisdom'. Now i have more reasons to do so.

Before i get to the original story, a prelude would be in place.
The prelude: This is the story of a young guy. The guy doesn't mind watching movies once in a while regardless of the language, theme, quality, actors etc etc. What matters is the medium. A television or a pc would be more than welcome. But the guy shirks at the thought of spending a few precious bucks for the sake of watching the same movie at the theatre. The only movie that he has ever watched to date in a theatre has been Dilip kumar-Vaijyanthi Mala starrer 'Madhumati'. The reasons for watching the movie would require yet another post.

The story: Then something happened one day. The guy, tired of vegetating within the four walls of his hostel room, decides to grace PVR theatre with his benign presence. The partners in crime being the ever scheming 'S' and 'An' who quite deserves the 'bapu' tag. I would stick to these names so that they can be in no way used against the guy when he stands for the post of President of India or the President of World bank or for that matter, Chief Justice of Pakistan in future. Change of heart was brought about by the fact that 'An' had two free tickets. Deal was that the three of them would contribute equally towards the cost of the third ticket with 'An' being generous enough to not make noises about it. Catch - the movie was 'Fool and Final'. The guys land up at PVR well ahead of time. Then came the second biggest shockof the day. The biggest ofcourse being the guy relenting to go to a theatre. The movie was running housefull. Unbelievable yet true. Even as Himeshbhai was crowing nearby, the scheming 'S' got into a huddle with 'An' thinking of ways to 'katao' the guy. But in vain. The guy won't budge without them in tow. Ultimately, 'S' came up with this bright idea of first selling off the tickets and then deciding what was to be done with the money. Finding fools for the foolery was the simplest thing to do. A pair of what were definitely love birds (though the guy must have been the same age as the girl's father) leapt at the offer. Now the troika was richer by 300 bucks. But the foolhardy didn't stop at this. Huma theatre was the next target. Nothing changed. Soldout. A few expletives directed at the person manning the counter didn't help either. They had been fooled and this was final. The writing was clear on the wall. But the booty had to be utilised. An awesome combo of pizzas, nutty chocolate rolls, french fries, garlic bread and chilled coke at a cool 300 bucks enough to serve three grown ups more than made the day. Sumptuous meal !

The End: The guy rounded it up by watching Eastwood's 'Letters from Iwo Jima' in his room.
50 bucks are still 50 bucks. For the mathematically disabled, when you split up 150 bucks between 3 people (which would have been the cost of that elusive ticket), each ends up paying 50 bucks. The guy had planned a tear-to-shreds review of the movie on his blog (regardless of the movie starring some Miss Takia). A free treat is a free treat is a free treat. In conclusion, all is well that ends well. "What man proposes, God disposes!"

Before signing off: Left to me, i would rephrase Coelho as "When a man wants something very badly the whole universe conspires to ensure that he doesn't achieve it. This makes the universe very happy. But this happiness is rather shortlived. The man realises that by not having achieved that 'something', he has endedp up happier". Now beat that !

PS: No marks for guessing who the protagonist is.
No marks for predicting that there is no love lost between me and Coelho

12 comments:

prachi said...

Gaaawd !! What a liar u are !!
You always used to turn down movie offers saying that you have been totally fed up. And what confession do i see here? Nothing but Madhumati.
Conclusion: One should never believe 'the guy' x-(
i am soooo upset :((

Anonymous said...

Lucky man ! You missed out on 'Fool and final' Its nothing but a rotten piece of shit. Good that you missed out on it :P
nicey post btw
~vardaan

deepti said...

Just randomly came upon your blog as i was surfing the net. You defintely write very well and i enjoyed it. Are you into professional writing ?

Aneesha Pillai said...

Now this man had an option between a sumptuous meal and a crappy movie.....the whole universe conspired to help him achieve the better of the two!! Now thats the inherent meaning of what Paulo Coehlo said! ;) :D

arunabh said...

@prachi
i still stick to the stand. When i was talking about the 'movies' i was talking about the ones tht i have seen on the comp. And anyways, i aint no big movie buff
keep visiting:)

@vardaan
yeah i knew it even before i had left for the show. But the lure of free tickets was irresistible
Keep visiting:)

@deepti
Thanks a lot mam :). No no , i am not into any kind of professional writing. Just write for the heck of it :D
keep visiting:)

@aneesha
Hats off to Paulo Cuelho and his fans. "When a (wo)man very badly wants to prove something, the whole universe conspires to help him/her prove it by hook or crook":P
Keep visiting :)

Yashika Totlani said...

Ahem ahem ahem ahem... satire at its orgasmic best(cringing kids may please leave)!!

My fav pick-
"I would stick to these names so that they can be in no way used against the guy when he stands for the post of President of India or the President of World bank or for that matter, Chief Justice of Pakistan in future."

ROTFL!!

Crude and brash... but fultoo entertaining!! Your grip on satire, farce and sarcasm just keeps getting better. Read 'the dilbert future:thriving on stupidity in the 21st century' by scott adams and i guarantee you'll love it!!

also read this-
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/masands-verdict-fool-n-final/41946-8.html

to realize why missing 'fool and final' wasnt that bad afterall!! the universe surely has its own ways of working...

arunabh said...

@yashika
'orgasmic best' - and what is that supposed to mean?
Yeah bring the dilbert along and i wont mind giving it a try. You , Coelho fans , somehow manage to justify his idiocy. Nevermind, i wont accept it.
And thanks for all the fishes ;)
The last statemant is dripping in satire.. lets see if you get it :P

Dee Spake Trash Anyway... said...

hehehehehhe...thanks for the profound retake on coelho's words... i am definitely more inclined towards ur gyaan!! happens to me all the time... so u are the species who has never grown up on joys of greasy samosas, soft popcorn and the crappy film-that-never-ends routine!! maybe i'll blog that and then u'll see wat u missed out on...butall's well taht end's well right?? and someday give the movie theatre a chance and not with something like fool and final.. and of course i am not talking bout those sickening, standardised pvrs and fame cinemas...

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