Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Frankenstein Reloaded !

I have been desperately trying to update my blog for quite sometimes now. But lack of time and ideas have proved to be big constraints. Finally finally, i do have a blog update albeit of a different kind. There was this interhostel blog writing contest held last week where i represented my hostel. And since i don't fancy my chances of winning, i would rather post my entry for that contest here on my blog.

IDEA: There was a list of ten personalities - both real and fictional. It included names like Mussharaf, Super Commando Dhruv, Frankenstein, Hitler's mom, Olive Oyl (other names elude me right now). You have to imagine that you are one out of these people. Then write four blog posts that this person might have come up if he was actually blogging. The time allotted was 90 minutes. So as it turns out, it would be quite a longish post. I dont really expect you to read through the whole of it. But a casual browse-through is solicited :) Btw, i 'doppelgangered' Frankenstein

Frankenstein’s Blog

Post 1

I sometimes wonder if they stopped making people like me. I don’t understand any of the shit they teach in school. Why should German be taught as a compulsory language to each and every student in the school? Why physical training is deemed so important? Why do my parents want to me to stick around with the other guys and indulge in the so called ‘normal’ activities that these people indulge in? I think, I am born to be different. While the others in my class love a lesson or two in Chaucer, I would rather while away my time looking out of the window. My friends consider me a misfit and scoff at me. My parents never take me seriously. No one is willing to discuss the evolution of this world and the evolution of man.

I am not an avid reader but I love reading books on alchemy. Of course, my parents won’t allow any of that into the house- so I have to sneak them inside. I keep them hidden in my grand father’s old chestnut trunk under my bed. I hate people who think that alchemy is the same thing as black magic. I don’t particularly like my parents either and vice versa. To let you in on a little secret of mine, I am starting to learn alchemy pretty fast. Why only yesterday I actually managed to set fire to a log of wood using only a couple of chemicals. Fortunately for me, my parents weren’t around and I cleaned up all the ash before they were back. I will tell you more about this as I progress. Till then keep reading and keep commenting. And do not waste your time trying to figure out who I am.

Post 2

The first thing that naturally comes to mind is why I stopped blogging altogether after my first post. It’s almost five years now that I last blogged. I expected that loads of people would read my blog posts. And I would be flooded with comments and queries about alchemy. My original idea was that if there were just too many queries about alchemy, I would start a separate anonymous blog on alchemy itself. As it turned out, I did get a few machine generated comments about how I can increase my revenue by subscribing to Google ad sense, how I can make my sexual life more exciting by using potency pills of such and such company, how I can go around dating people living near my home and so on and so forth. Not a single genuine comment. Further confirmation came from my apples-studded-hit-counter which didn’t report a single increase in the number of hits. Posting my blog link on the ‘anonymous bloggers’ community on Okut didn’t help either. Apparently, nobody takes an anonymous person seriously. People are strange when you are a stranger!

As a last resort, I went around commenting on blogs of random people. Leave aside hitting back, these people didn’t even acknowledge my comment. As if it never existed there in the first place. Getting filthy and abusive on others’ blogs didn’t help either. People simply deleted my comments.

Five years down the line and I have matured a lot. I do believe that it doesn’t matter whether someone reads my blog or not. After all, a blog is a vent to your emotions and feelings. Rather than allow, the turmoil to build up, I would use this as a platform to get my ideas across.

The latest news from my side is that I am on the verge of stardom. My interest in alchemy is about to payoff. The readers of this blog are a few of the lucky people on this earth who are getting to read the mind of someone who have stumbled upon the secret formula of LIFE. I won’t reveal more details here. But if are you really inquisitive, then keep watching this space. On second thoughts, please do visit my blog.

Post 3

I know, I know! I haven’t ever received a single comment. And still, I had been blogging incessantly for quite sometime. Then, all of a sudden I took a break. Till now my posts had all sounded chirpy and cherubic because I had reasons to be. My grasp over alchemy was becoming stronger everyday. As I had mentioned in my previous posts, I was very near to what is technically termed as ‘cloning’ by some fools. My posts centered on my having discovered a secret code to actually making another man. Not that it got anybody interested as the number of comments on my blog would show.

The reason behind coming up with this post in the middle of the night after such a long hiatus is because my formula actually bore fruit. That also explains the hiatus. I did manage to clone a human being. Everything was going well till I actually saw the ‘human’ that I had cloned. To call it a human would be mocking the entire community of homo sapiens. This ‘successful’ experiment took place almost a couple of months back. The result of my experiment left me mortally terrified and dazed. Shocked and perturbed, I just ran away from the scene and kept running till I thought that I was far away from his reach. I had forgotten all that happened as a nightmare.

My new life here is or at least was just so rosy. I have made some amazing friends with whom I go around a lot. They make me forget all the troubles and miseries of life. So much so that I had even ignored my blog. Lady luck seems to be showering all her blessings upon me. While loitering around the town, my eyes fell upon the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my life. We started off with our hellos. Through some acquaintances, I was introduced to Elizabeth. I still vividly remember the first time that we went out on a date. It was to a restaurant overlooking the lake. I started courting her more and more. We went together to the costliest of theatres and the shopping malls. Then one fine day on a beautiful summer afternoon, I popped up the question; “Will you marry me?” The smile said it all. Now we are already preparing for the wedding.

Ideally I should be very happy. I am not exactly sad or disappointed. But the nightmare that I had long forgotten is back to haunt me. There is something deep within me which says that the monster is lurking somewhere nearby. He is out to seek vengeance and even all forces put together on this earth cannot stop him. I only pray that is just a sad passing thought and I will somehow get over it. Meanwhile, you, my reader wish me and Elizabeth a happy and peaceful married life. This is the least that you can do apart from commenting

Post 4

I am aghast, totally heartbroken, wretched, hapless, woeful, pitiable and inconsolable. It cannot get worse than this; I am just back from attending three funerals in a very quick succession. What started off with the murder of my best pal ended with the death of my father who died of grief over the death of my bride-to-be Liz. The worst part is that I could have easily prevented all this but for my idealistic thoughts. Trying to save this world, I ended up ruining my own world.

Without confusing you any further, let me admit that my worst nightmares had come true. Proving my premonitions to be correct, the wicked scary monster actually hunted me down. Not only is this monster extraordinarily huge, its damn shrewd as well. Using tidbits of information which I had left behind, he actually managed to track me down all the way to this town. After he got rid of the little boy, I found out that he was hiding somewhere in the town. In lieu of letting me live in peace that crook begged me to make a female equivalent of him.

In the name of Christ, how could have I done something as blasphemous as that!!Give him a female and they will produce twenty children. These twenty children will then screw each other thereby producing hundred more like them This cycle would go on unabated and they will finally end up killing all human beings and make the whole world their own. I tried diplomacy with him but in vain.

Exhausted, I returned and waited for his next move. What else could have I done? I know I was acting selfish by not warning people about my own creation. But I had no other option.

I didn’t have to wait for too long. The monster made good on his promise by first killing my best friend and then he doused the light of my life and the fire of my loins- Elizabeth. My life is in total shambles- a wretched existence. There is nothing left to live for. If there is anything that I would love to do before I die, it would be to kill my own creation with my very own hands. And if there is God, he will see to it that I take my mission to successful completion.

Before embarking on this tough mission I would like to make a promise to all you readers over here. If I do not succeed, I shall not return alive. If you do not see any more posts on this blog, assume that I am dead. But do not ever tell your children that Frankenstein died a coward's death

Victor Frankenstein- for that is my name!


kritzmat said...

me likes! :D
as i already mentioned i have not read the book. when i started reading the post, i was wondering why didnt you choose olive oyl or hitler's mother for that matter!
but this is really good. :)
it is pretty realistic too...the whole narrative simply runs on. eventhough its pretty long the sheer pace doesn't make it seem so. the characterization is great too.
it gets humorous too in a few places (intentional or unintentional i wonder!). all in all makes fr a great read.

Anonymous said...

Oye dude!! Twaz a clazzy update. The beshtest so far. I almost thought that i was actually reading frankenstein's blog... lollz!
Bt seriously, this is damn cute funda overall and you have done full justice to it.
Hatz off :)

PS: The novel also happens to be amongst the best that i have read

Yashika Totlani said...

quite nice! like kritzmat, i havent read the book either but a quick search at wiki gave me enough insight into the character of frankenstein. made for an interesting read... you'll be happy to know i took the trouble of reading every single line and didnt just make peace by skimming through the whole post. you glide with words and hence i didnt lose interest once till i reached the end. creative, funny(your trademark humour shows at two places), interesting....

p.s. did you win the competition atleast?? who was deciding on the winners??

p.p.s. the whole idea of holding such a competition was nice :)

p.p.p.s. how come you didnt pick olive oyl??

JITIN said...

Hope this post of yours turns out to be an all-out hit like the movie "Matrix Reloaded" itself!
And I am sure it will.. Its too good buddy.. Quite longish as it was, still woth-a-read every line.. I only had tits-bits of information about Frankestein (have seen one movie), but this provided wonderful insights into this extraordinary character!
I also admire your patience & skills to write on-and-on & still maintaining that wonderful flow throughout!
Hats-off man!
Well, I dont know who all are your competitors in this competition. But, rest assure it would require an outstanding effort to even match this one, forget about outlasting it!!!
And I also liked this idea of the blog competition very much..
Really innovative..
Do inform me about the results yaar???

I need to know who stood second and third after the numero uno - Mr. Blogger!!!

Delphian Oracle said...

De ja vu ? :D great post..i enjoyed reading it

all that matters... said...

sounds more from "you" then "frankenstein"... quite interesting... Would love to read you as Hitler's mom...

arunabh said...

Olive Oyl - Alas! dont really follow popeye too much :(
Hitler's mom- Couldn't have possibly done enough justice to her :P
Thanks for the comments :)
Keep visiting :)

Ohh thanks a lot prachiz :)
But cute :O
keep visiting :)

You did me a great service my reading each and every line. Thank you so very much x-(
Olive Oyl - Alas! dont really follow popeye too much :(
Just 2 places ? :(
Keep visiting :)

arunabh said...

Man !! Your comments always make my day. Evey time i read your comments, i immediately start day dreaming about writing a novel someday :D
The results aren't out as yet and i dont think they will ever be out. The organising team seems to have decamped with the booty :|
keep visiting :)

deja vu .. hehe
Keep visiting :)

@all that matters
Well this comment was totally unexpected. Anyways i shall take it as a compliment :D
Hitler's mom- Couldn't have possibly done enough justice to the character
Time to check out a new blog
Meanwhile keep visiting :)

Divya said...

Hehehe this was awesome... Did you win?