No full stops in India

Have you ever travelled in a 2nd class compartment of a train or what is called the GENERAL compartment these days? Or better still, have you ever travelled in a passenger train? If you haven't, then you might fnd this funny. If you have, then you might not. I had the unenviable previlege of travelling in a passenger train this winter. The kind of stuff that no fairy tale is made of. One of the most harrowing experiences of a lifetime. I was accompanying my dad on his Nepal visit. The first and the much longer part of the journey was mighty peaceful and pleasant. We got down at Gorakhpur. Then started the second leg of our tour which was travelling from Gorakhpur to Sunauli which lies on the Indo Nepal border (a border for namesake). The official railway time table said that it should take us three hours. The train was to depart from the last platform of the Gorakhpur junction. And what a platform did it turn out to be! There was not a single vendor to be found. The entire platform was littered with garbage, rubbish, rags and yes.. human faeces !! The Almighty was kind enough and the train , believe it or not, was on time. As the train chugged in, the sea of humanity dotting the platform, came into motion. We were prudent enough to have a coolie with us who managed to get us a couple of seats, though not at the same place. The train left after what was close to an hour and the thought of getting over with the ordeal in a time span of three hours soon evaporated into thin air. I was sharing my four seater with six other good fellas and i was literally hanging on the edge of the seat. Facing me were three Nepali dudes- in the good, the bad and the ugly ishtyle who kept cracking some incomprehensible Nepali jokes and laughed at the expense of the other cubicle mates. Nobody was bothered though. Within moments, the interior of the train was fetid with sweats and farts. "Love in time of cholera" no longer was worth a read as i quickly pushed it within the bag. All the time, i tried to breathe as less possible specially curtailing the inhalation process. The conversation between the people occupying the same cubicle as me ( there were no less than twenty five) varied from the mundane to the worldly wise. The marriage season, the upcoming elections, kabul express, katrina kaif entering the ajmer dargah in a skirt to india's debacle at south africa- everything came under the scanner of the learned and the not-so-learned. Much of the train had soon become a garbage dump. The floor was littered with "chiniya badam", "bhelpuri", betel stains n some unidentifiables. And GAWD !! there were two goats as well that had been tied near the wash basin rendering it useless. Then i committed the cardinal sin of deciding to use the train toilet to relieve myself. The toilet had masses of shit, overflowing and spread liberally all around. For the next few hours that image and that stench stayed with me: when i ate and when i drank. Meanwhile the train strolled at its leisurely pace stopping at every possible place where there was even a sign of the Indian Railways - and that included some strategically positioned trees as well. All this while the person sitting beside me, who was obviously drunk, kept using me as a leaning support. The lil ones accompanying their kith and kin also find their predicament unbearable and soon they were puking all around. I almost felt like passing out. Finally after five hours of a gruelling journey ( my watch said it was five hours but mentally must have been much much more) the train stopped at the decrepit railway station. Alighting from the train consumed some ten more minutes and i looked skywards. God had the last laugh and it started to drizzle giving UP's cold an even greater bite..