Friday, September 29, 2006

Touch me, I'm sick !


A couple of cones more than what my system can handle, a couple of more than necessary treats for me, a couple of more than than the usual night outs, a couple of more than necessary assignments for my sparrow brain and a couple of days of getting wet in the usual Mumbaiyya weather.This deadly combination of factors, all going against me at the same time, is what lands me at the unwelcoming IIT Hospital (btw, which hospital is welcoming?) for possibly the gazzilionth instant. My love and hate relationship with the IIT hospi has been going on for what now seems ages and the saga simply refuses to die down. So there i was ! Perched on the typically-hospital-white-bench patiently waiting for my turn outside the doc's chamber. Not every soul looked ill. Most were like me - invisibly ill. Didn't shave for quite some days which actually made me look forlorn and not quite fit. My chance came after around 20 minutes of peaceful wait. I entered and sat facing the doctor. I always manage to find the same doctor whenever i land up at the IIT hospital despite there being around six doctors there. So even before she could shoot her first question; boom! there goes my answer
Me - 55 Kgs (Had checked my wait at the delhi railway station before embarking on my journey from Delhi to Mumbai. It showed 54 Kgs. So i calculated that the mess food must have done wonders and i must have gained a kg - nothing more and nothing less)
Doc - And thats your weight?
Me- Smilingly nod my head ( what else on this earth could that be ?)
Doc - Have you been smoking excessively over the last few days ?
Me - No! Infact , i just forgot, i don't smoke at all!
Doc - Is this the result of an affair gone all wrong ?
Me - No doc! Not at all.
Doc - Then give me an acceptable reason for your almost underweight status.( A cunning questioning smile lightening up her visage)
Me(mumbling under my breath) - Is it not something that you should figure out?
Doc - What?
Me - Nothing (followed by a wry smile that came with the involuntary twitching of my facial muscles)
She then gives up the pretence of being genuinely interested in her patient's health and gets on with her usual business. Gets me to open my mouth as big as it gets, then doesn't even bother looking inside. Uses the stetho as any other doctor does. Checks my pulse. Advices against eating too much oily food.
Doc- Then i guess this is just the common cold + fever that afflicts people with the changes in weather. Mumbai's not been treating you well then.
Doc- You want to go for a blood test.
Me - No! Thank you!
Me - Another wry smile managed albeit with lesser difficulty.
Doc - I have prescribed you a few medicines. Take them as per the routine. Come back in two days . Should be hale and hearty by then. "But then something must be ".... just trails off leaving me imagining the worst.
Me - Thanks a lot mam!
Prescription in hand,I drag myself to the dispensary. The service here is quick. I get a few tablets of Uni Cold tablets, scary yellow amoxycillin capsules and the most stinking and nauseating cough syrup that comes without a name - in a not properly disposed off chhota bisleri bottle. And then, there is my mom's never-worked-recipe of B Complex capsules which are supposedly energising and invigorating. The same combination of medicines that have been prescribed to me with clockwork regularity during my "now what has become ritualistic" visits to the IIT hospi ( how much we love that term!!). The same combination (with possibly an altered permutation) is omnipotent or apparently is. Be it body ache, toothache, tummy tantrums, cough, cold, malaria or anything - the IIT hospi has the proven and tested one single formula. And for some extraterrestrial reasons - it has always worked ! And i wager a bet that it will work again. For those more curious about my mecca .. have look!

29 comments:

Giddu said...

Thou art a prolific blogger, and even if ye shall fall sick, thou shall continue this blogging of thine.

And the pleasures of reading and commenting will be mine, mine, mine.

Get well soon my friend.

prachi said...

Wow !! This beats all your previous posts fair and square. Funny and yet so realistic. Just had to read the whole stuff twice.
Btw the iit hospital does look shabby if you dont mind my telling you that.
Here's praying that you get well very very soon !!

prachi said...

and left a comment on the previous post as well :p

Harshad said...

:)

I know exactly how you feel. BTW nice new format. Its not as stressful on my failing eyesight. :P

And H-Gtg???

arunabh said...

@giddu
Thanx a lot mate ! With well wishers like you around, i defintely am sure that i will be fighting fit very soon :p Alas Ballal cud understand this :(

@prachi
Thanx a lot for your concern and the praise you heaped upon the post. And i dont mind your calling a spade a spade. Keep visting :)

@HG
Man ! You don't have too many options . Your constant bugging
ensured that i change the entire format and here's the result.You gotta like ie :p
Keep visting :)
n thts harshad ghodke's guide to the galaxy :d

Yashika said...

Another one of Arunabh's post that crack us all up and makes him think we're laughing at his miseries (which obviously isnt the case)! Hmmm... hospital seems fine. You gotta come here and look at the univ doctor's den. Sheesh, yech, puke! Also, convo seems genuine... no fabrications ;) My convos with my doc are the same... so could tell.
"Gets me to open my mouth as big as it gets, then doesn't even bother looking inside"--- how very true! My doc also embarasses by asking me to "say aaagghhh..." :(

Bottomline: 'fundoo' read!
('Fundoo': courtesy- Arunabh Sinha)

Yashika Totlani said...

Oh and get well soon!

Anonymous said...

Ahha ! n here i have once again stumbled upon your blog. This reads so much like serendipity:)
And you have again managed to "lighten up mu visage". Keep blogging and i'll keep visting your blog :)

~misha

Anonymous said...

ROTFL !!
The hospital is looking so picturesque :p. The kind of haunted houses they show in movies.

~ashaant

sai said...

die u !!!

Anonymous said...

Pinch you !!
even i was down with fever, cold . So i was late in commenting my lord ! :p
You made a joke out of the entire hospital episode. But careful !! Take care. Vagaries of weather must not be ignored ... i on purpose gave this a kafkain touch :))
get well asap :)

~ruchika

arunabh said...

@yashika
do i rlly need telling u tht ... i have even been thr (univ doc) n done that :d by now u must have figured out tht thr is a high probability of my having already been thr :d
n thanx... keep visting :)

@misha
serendipity ...was it ?? :P
keep visting

@ashaant
srry for the gloomy picture but it isn't rlly tht bad x-(

@sai
first gimme a treat :)

@ruchika
oh bad ! here's hoping u get well soon :)

Yashika Totlani said...

By now, I've figured out that there's a high probability of you having been to EVERY nook and corner of my city and done that ;)
Cheers!

Nayan said...

'aajkal dengu bahut ho raha hai'
a sincere advice-u shud have your blood checked :P

Nayan said...

dada
kichu nijer weird habbits lekho naa!!
aapnan ke tag korlaam :P

devein said...

everytime i read ur post,,,i remember ur smiling face,,dictating n mocking even the most serious matters....read all ur posts...n the descriptions r always so real,visual n so common...i do relate it to some,similar incident happened to me....

arunabh said...

@yashika
cheers !

@nayan
aami baangla jaani naa :((

@devein
Hey bedi !! nice to have u reading my blog n thanx for all the praises that u showered. I just cannot tell you how much i miss u ppl and the wonderful stay we had. Keep visiting :)

Anonymous said...

well thanx a lot for u wishes ! Your wishes worked like miracle - i was so fit the very next day i could have gone climbing the everest :)
Thanx again
Keep blogging

~ruchika

sushobhan said...

get well soon yaar anyway i guess of more blogs may also be one ofthe factors...........kya kehta hai......... waise how could u mange avoiding npl dispansary?

jitendra said...

GOD hai bey tu !

arunabh said...

@ruchika
my pleasure :)
@sushobhan
thanx bey. but i guess no .... blogging has infact proven to be therapeutic for me. Aur tu bhi jaanta hai npl dispensary mein kya kya hota hai ;) .. lucky me tht i managed to avoid
@jitu
thanx bey :x :x

Dee Spake Trash Anyway... said...

i am commenting after a long time...long after u've recovered i think and hope...but i loved that part where she was analysing the causes of u being underweight!!!! sooooo hilarious...

arunabh said...

was it really ;)
neways thanx n keep visiting :)

Anonymous said...

How do you manage to get a photograph of every uncanniest thing you see around? seems photography is your passion..anyway i must tell you that quality of pics are really bad. Get a new camera or mobile phone or whatever you use to take those snaps?
~sarika

arunabh said...

nopes lady ! photography isn't my passion though i would have loved it that way. The photograph you see over here has been lifted straight out of the website of the hospital - have provided the link and tagged is as my "mecca". Its their fault then. Btw you are great at playing the sudden appearance and disappearance game on my blog :p. Neways do keep visting :)

PS: do you blog ?

Anonymous said...

Nopes. i don't blog..used to do so long time back, but there is time constraint. so now read few blogs whenever i get time. I think you pay a lot to iit hospital..:)

arunabh said...

naah .. the services come free of cost for the students. And even the medicines are given free .
And thanx for taking time out to visit my blog :)

Jitin said...

just one word for this one- WOW!!!
And thats bcoz it reminds me off T.I.E.T dispensary(there is no "hospi" here) & an almost similar series of events happening with me... The only difference is that my weight is 1.5 times that of urs(plz don't calculate!!!)... & mine was a male doc( not as lucky as u i guess!!!)... & most imp. medicine prescribed in TIET also is the same everytime ur "welcomed" there... but not as effective as the IIT hospi!!!

oh i m tired of this now... but i can't overwhelm my desire to say u-

"well done buddy for the umpteenth time"!!!

arunabh said...

thanks buddy for the umpteenth time.
hmmmm .. male doc ?? abey yaar i was plainly lucky that she happened to b a female doc cos here also there are a number of male docs [:p]